my return home brings the return

of hope[lessness]

& in secret dad met with

[enter: Larry, social worker & pyschatrist]

while i was basking by the San Francisco Bay

& told him about my restless nights

[[crying heard through fake thin walls]]

dark racoon eyes

& coming downstairs just to make sure

people are still there

they haven't left me

abandoned me

ran from me

[like i run now from them]

& Larry & my dad

[but mostly my dad because he

doesn't know how to deal with me]

decided that i need little blue & w-w-white

pills

to numb me

just like they have numbed everyother person

in my fucking family.

my emotions are too intense

you could cut them & have a ribbon

of blackness pour out.

i'm too deep.

escape before i cave in.

<3<3<3

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